Geneology of my grills

If I ever decide to grow old and wise, the one thing I will pass along to my son, in hopes that he will pass it on to his son, and so on, is wisdom that is quite contemporary. Granted, this speaks loudly of the consumerism of our lives, and our perception of value.

Growing up, having a grill meant one thing: a charcoal grill of the Weber design. I was actually surprised to learn that grills could be square, rectangular, heck they could even sit about 1 foot above the ground.

The first gas grill I encountered was in the late 1980s. My dad got one ... you know, propane with propane accessories. It worked well; we both were quite effective at burning things.

Being young, I swore that charcoal worked better, wasn't as hard, and 'when I grew up' I would be a BBQ purist. Regardless of what Hank Hill said, it was charcoal or nothing.

Things were looking great. I got married. Not only did I get married, but we got a Smokey Joe by Weber. Now we had portable charcoaly goodness.

About three years later, after finding out it's not fun to: 1. Find a suitable surface to set the small Weber on, 2. Wait, wait and wait for the coals to turn, well, coalish, and 3. There is a difference of opinon as to the qualities of lighter fluid's taste on a steak.

At that time I was at a Big Lots about 30 miles south of home. There they had a propane grill for about 50 bucks. I had been secretly shopping around, and decided that this was a good deal.

What could go wrong with an overstock grill put together in Korea?

Oh yeah, maybe the INSTRUCTIONS could go wrong. They were written in some hybrid Korean/English hybrid. Maybe to conserve fuel or something, I don't kow. But it basically sucked.

I faithfully put it together, called over friends to share in its bounty, and prayed that it would not explode in a firey inferno.

Well, it eventually worked, and for the most part, it sucked.

It was the last grill I ever bought.

Really.

After about 2 years, I cruised Craigslist and found a grill 15 miles to the north for, get this: free.

That grill disasembled nicely and squeezed into the trunk of my 89 Camery. I kid you not.

It was re-assembled and worked excellently for a year.

I then sold it for $5.

Why the heck would I sell a FREE grill? Well, my neighbors across the street felt their grill was too dirty, rather than clean it, they asked me if I would like it. So I sold a free grill to get another free grill. So, essentially I'm not doing too bad. I only needed to relpace the propane tank after a year (the valve was behind code).

This year, the grill's upper rack rusted through.

But another neighbor got wind that we're having a block party on Independence Day, so he HAD to get a new stainless steel grill for the shindig.

No problem.

I only had a grill up front, and if I wanted to grill in the back yard, I'd have to actually move the thing. Heck, I even had TWO propane tanks for the joy of grilling.

So now, I have a grill in the front (with out an upper rack, so it's perfect for veggies, long roasts or other big things that need the space). And one in the back with a side burner, I guess it's for making pancakes or something in the event the power goes off.

Oh, the advice to my son?

Never buy a grill.

Ever.

Too many people will be willing to spend extra money to either upgrade or they won't clean the grill. But somehow you'll benefit from the grill karma.

Okay, maybe one purchase.