Friday's thing

Irony.

In Alanis Morrisettes' Ironic (damn, you can find ANYTHING on Wikipedia!) it's not so much irony but just plain things that suck.

You know, rain. Wedding day. Traffic jams. Already late.

Most of those situations just plain suck.

This morning, while running a few errands, I realized that I am experiencing alanirony.

About 4 years ago, I was diagnosed with IBS (yes, everything is on Wikipedia). I will spare you the details, read the link if you want information. My assessment is IBS-A. Of course, when experiencing an epidsode I, too, become irritable (to my dismay).

One of the therapies for this diagnosis and, at times, deliberating problem (I've been bed ridden before while suffering an attack) is to simply consume more fiber.

You know, go eat a sweater ... graze on some grass ... drink Metamucil. Of course, option three is something that I've only seen my grandparents do for the last 30 years.

I'm not wholly into pills and whatnot, and I enjoy food, so I'd much rather up the fiber content of what I eat. I'm especially interested in breakfast cereals that contain as much fiber, as say, colon blow (transcript here).

Enter Costco.

I pay the annual membership to just see 10 gallon pails of mayonnaise lined up in neat rows.

You betcha they'd have some thing close to what I'm looking for.

Sure enough, on the shelf, a breakfast treat with 51 percent of daily fiber.

Let me repeat that ... Fifty-one percent of daily fiber.

I get movin'. Buy a box, go home, and have a bowl the next morning. (ahem ... of said cereal).

Misery is all I can say. This is the worst thing for my system.

It is true alanirony. "Have more fiber" the doctor says. "51 percent of US RDA of fiber" the box says.

Nooooooo the lower GI tract says.

It's been three bowls, and a week of pure misery, irritability ... and all that I can do is wait for things to pass.

I'd rather have the 10, 000 spoons and need a knife, thank you. At least I can use the spoon handle to butter my bread.

Now, go try to get the song out of your head.

You're welcome.